WDV2: Spice! In the form of Charles Dickens!
by Twilight-Farie
Summary: One-shot Reader insert Crackfic 'nuff said


WARNING! AHEAD LAYS OOC CHARACTERS, LITTLE TO NO PLOT, AND PURE CRACK!  
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

The year was two thousand twelve. It had been a few years since (F/N L/N) had moved to America from Ikebukuro, Japan. For some reason (F/N)'s interest in America was slowly fading. She missed her friends and family. Most importantly, she missed the fatty tuna at Russia Sushi. That is when (F/N), decided to move back to Japan.

As soon as (F/N) set foot on the concrete jungle of Japan she felt at home instantly. The sights and sounds enveloped her physically and mentally. As she began the walk to Russia Sushi, young (F/N) bumped into someone.

It was a young man her age. He had dark brown hair almost as black as night. His eyes were a lighter brown, but dark none the less. A sadistic grin seemed to be pasted on his face, a look similar to what a wolf would before it pounced on its prey. The young man with the wolfish grin wore a dark brown jacket with tan fur along the edges, cuffs, and hood. Underneath that was a matching dark gray long sleeved V-neck shirt. His pants were well fitted, and a dark gray as well though lighter then the shirt.

(F/N) recognized him immediately. The man standing before her was Izaya Orihara. They had gone to the same high school together where he had messed with her, and played her like all the others before her. He called her his favorite toy and she enjoyed every time Shizuo threw heavy objects at him.

"Well if it isn't my favorite play thing~. Let me guess, you came back to 'bukuro because you missed me~?"

"What a jokester you are! There's no way in hell I'd miss you."

Izaya threw his head back and laughed.

"That's the (F/N) I remember! Let me guess you're here for Shizu-chan?"

"I-I'm not here for Shizu-ch-Shizuo! I'm here for me."

For some unknown reason the young miss felt strangely attracted to the man before her.

"Aw really? I thought you two made a happy couple ~."

As he said this, the young lady barely realized he had his arm around her since the start of their encounter.

"If you thought we were a couple, then why have you had your hands on me this whole time?"

"Isn't it obvious? Anything that Shizuo has I want."

The informant whispered in poor (F/N)'s ears. She blushed and pushed him away.

"If you're not with Shizu-chan then prove it; go on a date with me~."

"Fine!"

A look of shock formed on the God of Ikebukuro's attractive face; he had not expected the young miss to accept he was only toying with her.

"Wait what?"

"I said fine. Let's go on a date right now!"

Young (F/N) grabbed the man's arm and lead him away. What Izaya didn't know was that he was in for the trolling of a lifetime.

For a few years now, (F/N) and Shizuo Heiwajima had been planning against the God of Ikebukuro. The strongest man in 'bukuro watched silently from behind a building. A smirk pasted on his face as he lit a cigarette and took a drag. It seems the God and strongest man in Ikebukuro's roles are reversed they are both being extremely out of character. Don't worry I will shut up soon, just let me introduce the next scene.

The young miss (F/N) and the informant broker are now seated in a restaurant. The man who is paid to stalk people is still shocked; but keeps a strong poker face.

"Order anything you want it's on me~."

"Waiter, give me the largest, strongest, alcoholic beverage you have."

The waiter looked shocked, but rushed away to get the desired drink.

"Being a bit bold are we~? Don't expect me to not take advantage of you in your drunken state~."

"I don't expect you to either."

Young (F/N) says before "chugging" the 64oz beverage. When she finishes she slams the glass down and wipes her mouth. Izaya stares at the young miss wide-eyes, mouth agape.

"Waiter! Get me another two mugs!" (F/N) shouted resulting in the petrified waiter racing away once again for the desired drinks.

"You're not seriously considering drinking more are you?"

"I'm not considering anything Orihara. I'm _going_ to drink more and so are you!"

Before the sleazebag of an informant can even respond the waiter drops off the drinks and high tails it out of there. The young (F/N) pulls out a large funnel from who knows where and jumps on the God of Ikebukuro. With legs spread, she sits on Izaya Orihara's torso giving him a direct view of what lied under her skirt.

Too distracted by his nose currently gushing with blood, the young man doesn't stand a chance for what lies in store for him.

A wise man once said "Every action of our lives touches on some chord that will vibrate in eternity.", or for our more neurotically challenged readers; karma's a bitch.

Well, the young man Orihara was about to endure karma's full power. Young miss (F/N), completely unfazed by a man looking up her skirt, proceeded on with what she had in mind. She tilted the man's head up and moved close to him before shoving the funnel in his mouth and pouring the alcohol down his throat. The young man had no choice but to swallow as the liquid fell in his mouth at incredible speed.

Later that night, the young informant and young miss (F/N) stumbled out of the fine eating establishment intoxicated out of their minds.

"Hehehehehehe, oh Izaya you're the best!"

Miss (F/N) grinned stupidly as she wrapped her arms around the God of Ikebukuro. The god returned her grin, though it was one of lust rather then stupidity.

"Am I?" The man questioned as he eyed the young woman with hungry eyes; the young miss nodded as her arms snaked around his neck.

"I want to tell you something…" (F/N) said as she leaned in close to him. Her breathe tickled the young informant's ear before she whispered it.

"I like cheese."

Izaya Orihara, the King of trolls was rather disappointed as he was expecting the young miss's favor. As she rolled on the floor laughing, the King of trolling stood there with a grim expression on his face. Thankfully, a refrigerator soared through the city and wiped that look off his face as it sent him flying. Shizuo Heiwajima and the young (F/N) high fived. And not a single fuck was given that day.

The End

THANKS FOR THE 1,000 VIEWS ON THE GIRL TO IKEBUKURO CHAPTER 1 ON DA!

You guys are great and I hope you enjoy this! 3  
For all those curious, this is volume 2 of my weird dreams series  
So I bet you're wondering where this came from, well this was actually another weird dream/crack dream of mine.  
I had this dream at the beginning of this year while we were reading Tale of Two Citites by Charles Dickens in school. I was so overwhelmed with that book . Any way, in class the teacher would play the tape for us and a British gentleman would narrate the story as he did in this dream. It was pretty hilarious since it was pure crack but yet it still managed to sound proper like Charles Dickens' works SO I thought what the hell why not make it an x reader and thus this was born as your reward! xD  
End of story time

Be sure to check out my other x readers ;D


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